{"id":794,"date":"2014-03-13T17:57:59","date_gmt":"2014-03-13T17:57:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/foxboroarttherapy.com\/?p=794"},"modified":"2014-07-09T18:49:54","modified_gmt":"2014-07-09T18:49:54","slug":"self-esteem-self-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mindfulartstudio.com\/self-esteem-self-love\/","title":{"rendered":"The One Reason Only You Can Make Yourself Happy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/mindfulartstudio.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/woman-jumping.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-795\" src=\"https:\/\/mindfulartstudio.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/woman-jumping-199x300.jpg\" alt=\"woman jumping\" width=\"199\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>By: Amy Maricle<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Tough Lessons<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When I was almost 20, <strong>I dated a jerk.<\/strong> I didn\u2019t realize it at the time, and I don\u2019t think he meant to be, but he was a jerk. He didn\u2019t know how to listen, wouldn\u2019t compromise, and was downright disrespectful to me at times. As my birthday approached, I felt increasingly sad and disappointed, knowing he wouldn\u2019t make the effort to make me feel special on my special day.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0Seeking Support<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Feeling low, I turned to a trusted teacher. He taught my Coping Psychology class, and was a mentor, guidance counselor, and guru wrapped into one. After listening carefully, he asked if I would be willing to do a visualization. He asked me to envision a beautiful day on the beach. He said that as I felt the sand between my toes, the sun on my face, and the breeze blowing across my skin, I would notice a young woman walking my way. As she came closer, I would see that she was about my age, with similar hair, and similar build. Finally, he said, she approached me with arms outstretched. <strong>It was then that I saw myself. She drew me in and whispered in my ear, \u201cI love you,\u201d and I was overcome with emotion.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>This powerful image made his point immediately clear: <strong>I have to take care of myself and care <i>for<\/i> myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>He helped me realize that<strong> if I don\u2019t meet my own needs, no one else can fill me up, no matter how hard they try.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Self-Care<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Without self-care and self-love, others\u2019 affections slip through our fingers like water through a sieve. <strong>Caring for myself creates a container for love and affection.<\/strong> Without it, other peoples\u2019 affections feel insufficient or false. Even the most attentive, caring boyfriend could not fill that void. (Though I did leave the boyfriend! Part of loving and valuing myself more was choosing people who loved, cherished, and were kind to me.)<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Through the years, I have found that my birthday is an excellent time to reinforce this lesson. Of course I would feel let down if no one else recognized my birthday, but doing things for myself helps me realize that <strong>if others let me down, it doesn\u2019t define my worth<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Giving Myself a Gift<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I do what I hope others might do \u2013 get myself a gift, plan a party, or take a trip. These are gestures of my appreciation for myself. It\u2019s not conceit or selfishness, because I do the same for the people I love. <strong>I\u2019m making a statement that I deserve the best that I have to give too.<\/strong> And because I have chosen wonderful people to be in my life, I receive many gestures of love and caring on my birthday; these are the icing on my cake.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0Comments:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>What gift can you give yourself on your birthday this year? How do you make yourself happy? Tell us about it in the comments.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>DISCLAIMER: This information is not a substitute for professional psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All content provided by Maricle Counseling and Amy Maricle, LMHC, ATR-BC is intended for general information purposes only. Never disregard professional medical or psychological advice or delay seeking treatment because of something you read here.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Image credit: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.123rf.com\/photo_9121476_young-woman-having-fun-on-a-flowery-meadow.html\">kubais \/ 123RF Stock Photo<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By: Amy Maricle &nbsp; Tough Lessons When I was almost 20, I dated a jerk. I didn\u2019t realize it at the time, and I don\u2019t think he meant to be, but he was a jerk. He didn\u2019t know how to listen, wouldn\u2019t compromise, and was downright disrespectful to me at times. As my birthday approached, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"0","tag":"0","restrict_content":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[179],"tags":[17,37,35,14,5,62,25,60,61],"class_list":["post-794","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-creative-self-care","tag-anxiety-therapy","tag-art-therapist-foxboro","tag-coping-skills-2","tag-foxboro-therapist","tag-overcoming-negativity","tag-raising-self-esteem","tag-self-esteem","tag-self-love","tag-womens-self-esteem"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The One Reason Only You Can Make Yourself Happy | Mindful Art Studio\u00ae<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mindfulartstudio.com\/self-esteem-self-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The One Reason Only You Can Make Yourself Happy | Mindful Art Studio\u00ae\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By: Amy Maricle &nbsp; Tough Lessons When I was almost 20, I dated a jerk. 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