HI Jodi:

Thanks for your comment. I agree, getting out of an unhealthy relationship, even after you realize that it’s not good, is not easy. Even if it’s not an abusive relationship (which makes getting out even harder) sometimes it’s hard to believe that someone else will want you, that you are worthy of someone who treats you well, or somehow making such a big change just feels overwhelming. What have you found helps people find a way out? Lots of times in my office, people come in contemplating whether or not they are in the right relationship. Frequently when they hear me repeat back to them what they feel is not going well, it helps them to realize that while a part of them wants to stay, there is a big part of them that wants to go. From there it becomes a process of looking at what they really want in a relationship and examining whether or not they feel they are getting the love, respect, and caring that at least part of them knows they deserve. The time this process takes really varies person to person. Sometimes it takes learning different aspects of the lesson through a number of relationships. Especially for my clients who are very kind and generous to others, they often forget to prioritize their own needs and feelings and fear hurting others more than themselves. Realizing that they have to take care of their feelings is an important step in starting to set limits with others, even if it hurts their feelings a bit.

I’m curious, what do you find in working with folks on this issue?

Cheers!

Amy